two-stepping with God.

I have this game I play. I started it in college. It's simple.

You start walking. And for each step you take, you have to whisper to God one thing you're grateful for.

On my agnostic or atheist days, I'd just whisper to myself.

Regardless, I'd whisper. One step. Folksy black-and-white photos of great-grandparents I've never met. Step two. That first sip of coffee in the morning. Another step, over the crack. My grandmother's antique pearl-and-diamond ring. Forth step. My mind. Step five. That eye-popping blue of the sky. And another...

No doubt, the gratefulness saved me. I'd play the game when I was happy, but also when I was sad. When the depression, and the regret of it all came down. Trudging from block to block, I'd still play. More slowly, maybe. Later, I'd play it in writing--journaling one blessing after another.

The game was a gift from God. Another of the ways in which He equipped me to know Him, before I really did.

Sometimes, I doubt. I start to worry that there's no evidence for what I say about God, and Christ, and atonement. But then, I remember the ways in which He has worked so powerfully but in seeming silence in my life. I see Him having guided my ways so thoroughly, so lovingly. And I think that my proof is there. My evidence is in the careful orchestration of all moments leading to this one.

Leading to a moment in which I can stand whole, though sometimes insecure and often unsure, and claim a life with Christ.

This is wild grace.

Another step. I walk with God.