some other testament.

Tomorrow, I move from Springfield back home to Chicago. And the blog that began as a "testament" to my task of moving from Chicago to Springfield will continue on as some other thing, some other testament. My whole heart is broken. That's not bad. A few weeks back, square in the middle of my battle with this cancer treatment, I found myself in church, belting out one of my favorite hymns, It is Well with my Soul. And I found myself smiling. And crying. I sang the whole song in sobs and smiles. I'm so grateful. For all of this. I'm going home, to be with my family, and to get better treatment than I can get here. Such an incredible blessing. But I'm saying that through tears, because my life here is an incredible blessing. Kids, I'm saved. I'm saved, and I have known some of the best people anyone will ever know, and I have been given some of the best wisdom anybody will ever get, and as soon as I figure out how to use a flat iron to get my hair to do that fun, wavy thing, I'll have lived the perfect life, just send me to Heaven. Things have been hard. My faith has suffered. This cancer has taken me to the edge of everything I've known, and everything that I am. It's not over yet. But my gratefulness tells me that I still love God, I still live in awe of how He has changed me. As long as that is true--whether I am in Springfield, or Chicago, or Minneapolis, or St. Louis, or Timbuktu, or Pittsburgh--I will be in God's will.