unimaginable. real.

Half-way through Nancy Alcorn's sermon tonight, it hit me.

The last time I heard her speak, 10 months ago, I had not accepted Christ in any truly meaningful sense (though I considered myself a Christian, albeit a very liberal one, theologically). I had been attending James River for about 6 weeks, and was struggling with the idea that I would call home a Pentecostal megachurch. I knew only a handful of people.

This time, I was sitting there listening to the production team chattering in the headset in my ear. I knew almost everyone around me, if not personally, then by sight. Tonight, I am saved.

God is moving swiftly through my life.

Sometimes, I think this is all so dreadfully slow. I feel like I'm constantly failing--not loving people enough, not controlling my mouth as I should, worrying when I ought to trust, stressing out over the seminary decision, and a million other indiscretions that all add up to me to a zero on the holiness score. I think, "When will I have it all together?"

But tonight, my life came into focus for a moment. I realized that though it might feel slow, and sometimes painful, it's all right. He's got it. He has it.

I could not have guessed the first time I saw her speak that I'd accept Christ as a savior. And certainly not that the second time, I'd be involved in the church and growing towards Him. So I wonder...what is there tonight that I cannot guess?

I look back at the last 11 months, and the details that lead me to here are so intricate. Things that I didn't understand, that I thought were mistakes or misfortunes, were so perfectly timed to lead me to James River, to Christ, to serving Him, to growing in Him.

What is unimaginable right now? What seems fantastical? Where will We go together next?

I don't know. I don't need to know. But I am fascinated, and excited, and swept away in Love.