bring me some of that joy.

Taking the passions, leaving the illogicalities, and sprinting towards God.

I tweeted that last week sometime. And I love it.

This week marked my sixth month at James River. Six months of Sundays. And Wednesdays. And Saturday night bible studies. And Life Group, and DFL, and womens' rallies, and occasional conversations with Tim Keene. Of praying, and fasting, and singing, and justifying, and crying, and shouting, and reading, and thinking, and lovin'.

Six months with the Pentecostals. Six months with God. The most intense six months of my faith I have ever lived. Notably NOT the most I will ever live. I hope.

You know, when people ask me about my time here, about why I'm going to a church with convictions so different from my own, and how I can stand it, and whether I think there's actual Truth here, I think of the people. And I know.

Look, I have a million disagreements. I live my faith in ways that might seem downright sinful to some of my new friends. I have "blasphemous" things to say. I'm a Yankee liberal, goshdamnit.

But I can't turn from these people. Their love is compelling in a way that I always imagine Christ's heart to be. I was having a drink with a friend yesterday, and he told me that he knew "how those people could be," and all I could think was, "You mean filled with grace?" Overflowing with love? Kind, and gracious, and sacrificial, and beaming out God's love as though their lives depend on it (and in fact, they may).

I was in church this morning, as I have been every Sunday with the exception of one, and as we turned to prayer, I said to God, "Lord, you know my needs, today my heart is full of praise. I am standing now, but in my heart I am on my knees before you, shouting your goodness. Your people have brought me joy."

And then I thought, How do I give that to someone? What do I say or do for the person standing next to me, the girl at the restaurant, the guy in my class? What of "my"self, and "my" possessions do I give, to cause people to say "Lord, your people have brought me joy?"

Everything. Everything.