so detailed, so life-like

I had a dream last night that this was all a dream.

I was at home, remembering this dream I had had about accepting Christ, and joining a church, and speaking in tongues. But I remember, in the dream, thinking how strange it felt to feel like I used to. How distant. My dream within a dream felt more real than my reality within the dream. That is...I was experiencing simultaneously who I used to be, and who I am, and who I am won out.

There are all of these little things that I do now, that I so clearly remember thinking were strange, and ridiculous.

I pray for small things. For details. Sometimes, those prayers are answered. A lot lately, actually. I don't know what to make of it. I'll give you an example.

Last week, I had two exams on the same day, and had skipped the previous class for one of those exams (for a good reason, of course), so I had no idea what had been talked about, nor what would be on the exam. I don't know anyone in that class, and couldn't pick two-thirds of them out of a line-up, so there was no one to call. The day before the test, I prayed what I thought was a silly prayer--that God would put one of my classmates in my path at some point throughout the day, so I could ask him/her about the test. Then I forgot about the prayer. Later that night, at a coffee house at which I have literally never, ever seen a classmate or acquaintance from MSU, I'm packing up my stuff to leave, and this girl from a couple of tables away says "Hey, aren't you in my class?" I have no idea who she is. "Which one?" I ask. And she's from this class with the exam I haven't studied for, and the class I skipped.

Odd. God. The exam wasn't huge, and though it was nice to have been able to ask her what I missed, I didn't need the info, ultimately. But, what a strange answer to a little prayer. It'd be interesting on its own, but lately all sorts of little prayers have been answered. Silly prayers, whose consequences for my life have been small, but huge for my faith. Why would God care about these tiny things?

I know that I'm doing something here that I would have found appalling only a few months ago. I'm assuming that God cares about the details. I'm assuming that He had a hand in my running into that classmate, and any number of other prayers, and I'm thanking Him for it.

My mentors and I used to joke about people who think that God gave them a great parking spot. It was a derisive sort of joking. An insult to the faithful.

I don't know if God cares about parking spots. The point of the joke, anyway, was to take apart the idea that God has an intimate role in the workings of this world. To challenge the notion that He makes things happen, so to speak, outside of having made evolution happen.

But here I sit. I believe that God does have a hand in those small things. I don't know how. Admittedly, I don't know how His will intersects with ours. I cannot piece together an explanation for how He orchestrates our time and choice into these observable facts known as answers to prayer. But when I read about Him, I find that He's a good God. And when I pray with Him, His love presses onto me, so in the end the question of how He does it is only one of distance. Whether I say that He created all and knows all, and thus has known my every moment, or I say that His will created a moment in my life of something good--both are true. At any rate, my love is not for answered prayer, but for a living God.

A God I live with. One who knows every detail of my life.