on hold.

I'm holding.

Seriously. I'm on hold.

Is that normal? Do you think that's valid? Let me explain.

I have a couple of big decisions right now. One of them is what to do about AGTS. The finances are not as neat as I had originally thought they would be, and I'm fairly certain that taking on more student debt at this point is not the route I should go. But, as I think about it, I feel a hand. Stop. Wait. Don't make the decision right now.

Um. Ok.

What does that mean? What am I waiting for? Is it a legitimate check? Or just my own heart and mind putting off the decision?

But again, and again. Stop. Wait. Not now. Hold on.

It's an odd sensation.

I was thinking the other day about how awesome it would be to live a life in patience for His Spirit. How incredible to be so entirely dependent for information. You know that's radical, right? I mean, for anyone, but particularly for me. I love information. It's my thing. I like to know about people, so I can predict their behavior. I like to know about things, so I can...know them. (Does anyone need any other reason for knowing than for sheer pleasure?) But to live in waiting. To see new knowledge. Knowledge that isn't given in books, or passed on in lecture. Those kinds of knowing certainly have their place. But the Spirit...

It occurred to me, at the end of all of this, that you live that life one Spirit-filled fact at a time. The more you listen, the more there is to hear.

So...I'm holding. I don't know why. I don't know until when. I could be wrong about the whole thing. But I'm holding.