wild joy.

I did something crazy. I mean, like, something really out there. You might not believe it. I barely believe it.

I talked to strangers about Christ. I did. I felt God telling me to go sit with them. And then to stay sitting with them. Then to speak with them.

Oh holy crap, it looks even crazier written out like that.

Ok, breathing. Breathing.

So I shared openly. I talked about the struggles I had moving into this culture, and how I'm learning to overcome them. About my relationships with other Christians, and how my negativity towards them had kept me from Christ. I talked about the logic of grace, and I told them about how one of the defining features for me, of Christianity, is that it deals with the discrepancy between what I know I ought to be, and what I am. I talked about the love of Christ that helps me to bridge that gap. I told them about how we all have faith, and God will bring us to truth, if we're willing to be truly honest with ourselves. I pointed out that everyone lives by faith. I suggested that we have to trust not only our intellect, but also the prompting of our hearts. And I pointed out that we all seem to have innate desires for two things: love and justice--two desires perfectly matched for the narrative of Christ.

It wasn't just me talking--all of this was evenly interspersed throughout an hour and a half of conversation, of pretty wonderful back-and-forth. But it all got said.

Along with a lot of other stuff. We chattered about chick flicks, and Palin's new tv show, and pastry. It was good.

After it all, I got to my car. And flipped out.

I'm not the kind of person who says, "Oh yes, God, I'll go over there to those strangers, and spill my guts about Christ." In fact, at the start, I thought for a couple of minutes about just staying where I was, about ignoring the directive. Like, "Big G, this is Hebrew's--you know you got some other peeps up in here who could take care of this noise." This place might as well be on the James River campus.

But I did it. I thought, and I then I just realized in that moment, that I didn't want to be that girl who was always saying no to God. I want to be that one who follows instructions, and sees these crazy things happening in peoples' lives.

Afterwards, through the freaking out, it occurred to me that this is how obedience works. Sometimes, I read stories of awesome things happening in peoples' lives, and I realize that the reason it all worked out is because all of the people involved were obedient. Not that God needs us, He could just make it happen, but He uses us. And so I hear or read stories, and I note that it's obedience that turned the story.

And here.. it happened. In my own life, I saw it happen. I was actually not the first person talking about Christ to these people that night. And had I decided to stay where I was, they would have left with a much different view of Christ and Christians. But I said yes, and because of that, something is now in their hearts that could change everything. Could wipe out the hurt, the fear, and uncertainty. Could bring wild joy.

That's humbling. It's terrifying, actually. And humbling. And also a little exhilarating. And more terrifying. Still humbling.

And beautiful.