we don't have a king; we have The King.

It's 2am, and I can't sleep. So I'll tell you about how I've gotten really into the Old Testament recently, and I have a new favorite Bible story.

I've gotten really into the Old Testament recently, and I have a new favorite Bible story.

Caution: I know next-to-nothing about the Old Testament, and don't really understand a lot of what I'm reading, so it's likely that my interpretation of my new favorite story is totally off, the bad guys will end up being good guys, and the good guys bad, and at any rate, I haven't read the end of the story yet, so I can only kind of guess what happens. (As an aside, one of the embarrassing, but delightful aspects of having been an Old Testament slacker is that I don't know the end of the stories. So not only do I get to get to know God better--there's suspense! I have a rough knowledge of the readership of this blog, and I don't think you all have had suspense in these stories for many moons--feel free to live vicariously through my excitement.)

So it's like this: I am fascinated that in 1 Samuel the Israelites ask for a king.

Samuel has been chilling amongst them for some time, proving himself wise, and awesome. They've got the ark back, so they have that going for them. And, after Samuel told them to worship the Lord, their God, and He'd take care of the Philistines, He totally delivered. Life is good, right?

But the Israelites, who, frankly, seem to be learning-impaired throughout much of the Old Testament, tell Samuel that they want a king, "as all the other nations have." As though to say, "All of this that we've seen our God do, all that should convince us that we need trust and follow only Him, means nothing to us." They need something else. Someone else.

God tells Samuel to tell them all the terrible noise that will happen to them if they persist in wanting a king. They don't care. So God basically says, "Fine, you make the bed, you lie in it--give 'em a king."

I haven't read the next chapter yet, so if you see/meet me, don't tell me what happens.

But I wonder how often I act like this. How often, and across how many sectors of my life, am I learning-impaired with regards to God's absolute power, and His grace? The Israelites asked for a king as others had, it seems, to establish a validity and stability they thought they lacked. In what ways am I wanting a king? Maybe even asking God for one? Do I make prayers that sometimes parallel the Israelites asking for a king?

Were I to lose everything tomorrow, my apartment, and my car, and my friends, and family, and educational credentials, and health, and maybe even sanity or emotional stability--I'd still have the one thing I need. And yet, today, surrounded by all of those blessings, having seen Him hold off my enemies, and restore relationships and opportunities, I look for a king. I say, "You're not enough. I want a king, like others have." My kings take many forms. Maybe I look for a king when I seek excessive financial stability rather than giving sacrificially. Or when I form too much of an attachment to a particular long-term career plan, rather than inviting God in to send me as He would. Or when I hold back on loving radically, unsure that God will fill my heart.

What are my kings? What are yours?

I hope this makes sense in the morning.