straight down the middle, to the end.

I'm afraid that if I continue to go to these conservative churches, I will begin to take on their thought patterns, and ideologies. It's so dangerous.

I don't believe that God works the way they say He does. The sermons often come off as twelve-steps to God's grace. If you do A, B, and C, and do them with a pure heart, then God will provide X, Y and Z. Real life teaches otherwise. Horrendous and fortuitous things happen to wonderful people, and terrible people alike. Life is unpredictable. And that's ok! I don't think that means that God doesn't exist, nor that He's not a benevolent God.

Such arguments are met with examples from scripture, generally. That's a sticky thicket. A book written by men, across a smattering of literary genres, in cultures and philosophies that few of us now understand.

But how do I balance my fear of falling to the nonsense, with my desire to be humble, and changeable? Truly, that's going to have to be a God thing. I don't know that I can do that without divine help.

To the left, nor the right.