the oceans deep.

My life is about to change.

When I moved here, it happened in a whirlwind. I applied late to MSU, and was accepted and offered funding seemingly on a whim. I came down twice, for about an hour each time, to meet my adviser, and sign a lease. Then, suddenly, I lived in southern Missouri. Even more suddenly, I attended a Pentecostal megachurch.

Now, I have a life here. I'm about to graduate from school. I have an apartment, and friends, and "family" and a faith. I'm about to start a job, and buy a car. I live here.

This wasn't ever the plan. Two years, and then onward into a Ph.D. That was the plan. Now, here I am, having just thought long and hard about going to seminary, and working in a church.

I want to say that I'm scared, because I am. And I want to say that I'm confused, and that would be true, too. But, really, mostly, I'm in awe.

I was talking with God the other night, and I heard this: "I am the God who made the oceans deep." Sometimes, when I pray, I start by remembering who God is. Maybe that's weird. I remind myself who He is. I think about how massive this world is, physically and spiritually. I picture the most overwhelming of landscapes, and I say to myself...He did that. As large and awe-some, and truly terrifying as that is, He is bigger. The exercise reminds me of to whom I'm praying. Reminds me not to be timid in prayer. Reminds me that behind my prayers, and my faith, is the full force of heaven.

So when I heard it the other night, the phrase was meaningful. "I am the God who made the oceans deep, and the mountains high." As I prayed, I felt a power I'd never felt. An assurance that if I pray to the God of the deepest lake, and the highest mountain, there's nothing impossible. Impossibility is impossible.

It's a good time for that kind of reminder. As I leave school again, and head into a job so far from the call I feel, I wonder if I'll ever be "there." Sometimes, I doubt it. And then, He reminds me... He is the God who made the oceans deep.

"There" isn't so very far.