a praising soul.

Some days, it's like living a fairy tale.

I look up in a crowded room, and, amidst the voices rising, mingling, with the joy and laughter and love...I stop for a moment, and feel. My heart smiles, sometimes my lips smile, and I thank God with every part of me that though I don't understand it, and though I was nervous, and though I feel like I've lost my footing--He knew the whole. He knew this beautiful moment, as He knew the last, and knows the next.

Tonight, surrounded by some of the more amazing people I've known, God smiled on me. I sat in the room, and thought, "Really? But I don't deserve this. Thank you." That is, "Really, God? This is amazing. These people are amazing. I don't understand this. Why would You give all of it to me?" And, "I'm just a girl here for research--a snarky, kind of rambling, sometimes snobby suburbanite. I don't deserve these kinds of moments." And, "Adding one more to many, thank You for this Grace."

I look up, in a crowded room, and wonder if they all see it, too--if they see the unspeakable beauty of our shared lives, or if that joy is mine alone. I pray that I never stop seeing it. That though I'll not be "new" forever, my heart is always new. Always ready to still the moment, pull it close, and smile in my praising soul.