So much. Impact Outreach with Northpoint Church on Saturday morning. 9am service at Christ Episcopal Church on Sunday, followed by the 11:30am at James River (guest preacher: John Bevere). Met a fascinating couple, raised Chicago Catholic, making their way at JRA. Went again for the 6pm Sunday service. Great conversation with Laur about the Christian church from an outsider's perspective.
How to break all of that down?
Well, firstly, I think it's clear that I have a strange hobby. So be it.
I can write about the rest of it later, I want to talk about one thing right now.
I have had a problem with the Christian Church for a long time, because I have had a problem with Christian people. Not all of them, but a specific subset of them: the Christian-y Christian. The Christian-y Christian is the one who will buy wholesale into anything that his or her pastor tells him, and will literally buy any book with Max Lucado's name on it. He or she has seemingly forfeited the right and ability to think on her own. Her voting record is her father's, or her pastor's. Her apologetics are torn from the pages of popular Christian authors. He listens to Christian radio exclusively, and complains incessantly about how racy the secular world has become, without taking the time to gain knowledge of that world. He gives out bible verses for all situations, and tends to think of any new person not as an individual to care for, but a possible case for salvation. He has non-Christian friends, but only in so far as he is currently trying to convert them, and believes that he could never be close friends with someone who doesn't know Christ.
I have had an unending scorn for these people. I believe that their unthinking faith destructs the cause of Christ in the world, and makes it harder for non-Christians to get to know Christ, which in turn delays progress towards Christ's Love.
My scorn has often made it hard for me to be a part of any church. It has soured my time in the pews, and filled me with hatred when I should have felt joy. Though I could easily look at my own life, and judge that my imperfections were but part of a whole in the process of perfection, I could not give the same equanimity to others. That's too bad...what a loss.
I did not expect that a charismatic Missouri megachurch with which I can find ten million flaws would show me the path to Love. The shock has mostly passed. I now barely balk at the arm-waving, and shouted prayers, and laying on of hands. I see people who know a passionate Love, where before I might have seen the passionately deceived. I trust the pastor when he says that he speaks from Love, to the sinner's heart.
That's not to say that I don't still see the flaws. Nor to say that those passionate lovers are not also Christian-y Christians. I don't agree with everything that John Lindell says. Ultimatley, I think that the True faith looks drastically different from what he has built. But my thoughts and feelings towards them are shifting. I'm becoming tender. The balance is falling towards Love, away from scorn. I find myself wanting to defend these believers against the scorn of my atheist or agnostic friends. I might believe wholly that they are wrong about many aspects of the faith, but they are a part of the body. As am I.
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I am glad to read this entry today because I see that you are discovering that true Christianity really isn't about Christians, it's about Christ. You're right; we're all just doing our best to serve Him and to love others as He does. BUT, we make mistakes, we say things we shouldn't, we let people down. Too many people get so distracted by the failures of Christians that they miss the joy of knowing the Lord and walking in relationship with Him.
ReplyDeleteHey Kristen,
ReplyDeleteFirstly, the pictures of your Daniel Fast recipes look so delicious, you should open a restaurant. I don't know that there's a huge market of year-round Daniel Fasters, but you never know...
On Christian-y Christians, I think it's a bit more nuanced even. I've recognized for a long time the distinction between faith and religion. That's how I've been able to stay in the faith for so long. What I haven't done is to practice some mercy for those Christians with whom I disagree. And that is wrong. When faced with my wrongness, I've appealed to Christ, "But they're not getting it!" I think I missed the response, which was probably something like, "I'll deal with them. You do as I've told you."
I haven't loved people whom I ought to have loved. I've been self-rightous, and defiant, when I should have sought understanding. So I don't think that I've been equating Christians with Christianity. I think I've just been blatantly ignoring His command to Love. Which is pretty serious, particularly given that I've been blasting Christian-y Christians for the ways in which they fail to love! There's a double dose of humility.
This isn't to say that I think The Church is A-ok. I don't. I think that we need to change, and to think, and to throw open the doors to doubt and discourse, lest we become too comfortable. But the things that I have thought about other Christians (even as I've been more-or-less kind to their faces) are an affront to Christ's love. Not cool.