sweet reunion.

I read his word, and I write, and it all comes back to me. 

The things I forgot, the things I willfully pushed away, the things I thought were time-bound, and place-bound, only now to find out that they were never "culture", they are and always have been God. 

What sweet return. God is so gracious, isn't he? 

I lost my life in an instant. Had to leave my job, my school, eventually the church and town and friends I loved so dearly. I cried as we drove away from Springfield, back home to Chicago. I still remember my tears stinging my eyelids, trying so hard not to show the pain of losing everything that had so deeply changed me. But I was too weak to stay. I had to go home with family. And good thing, given the complications to come. Two months left to live. Then "nope, we're wrong." Rinse. Repeat. Until finally, it was over. They took my kidney, and I drove away from Mayo, and it was everything I could do not to tell my Dad to pull over so that I could throw myself on the pavement, kissing it and thanking God for sweet life. 

I moved to a new city. I got married. I tried to figure out how to be married. I got a job. I struggled to fit into this new culture, and new church that seemed nothing like the old one I loved so much. And in the middle of all of that, somehow, somewhere, I gave up on some important truths about God. Truth be told, I think I gave up on God. 

But as I dig back into his word-- not a verse here or there, not a devotional lesson, or a random sermon--but really, really dig in, it's all coming back. He is revealing himself to me once again. He's whispering sweet words of wisdom to my heart. He is telling me how much he so desperately loves me, and I am remembering what it was when we used to talk so closely. And we are becoming close again. 

I am remembering his power. What it feels like to believe in the God who makes quick work of our "impossible," who presses divine knowledge into our awareness, and guides us with his spirit to places we would never even dream. Anticipation. That's what it is--anticipation of what God does when we are open to his bidding. 

It's all coming back. And I have never known a sweeter, or more life-altering reunion.