what is mine.

"Let what is mine be mine."

I heard it, so clearly. And again, then again.

"Let what is mine be mine."

Sitting in the chapel at AGTS, asking God, "How is this going to work out?"

I'm scared because I'm off the grid. I had a plan. Go to Missouri. Get the Master's. Get a psych doctorate. Graduate. Teach. Be happy forever after.

Then there came Jesus. Suddenly, I'm applying to seminary. I'm learning how to give in ways I haven't before. I'm thinking twice, and becoming comfortable with the unknown, and seeking out wisdom, and holding my tongue.

And like that afternoon at AGTS, I'm praying in tongues. I'm begging God to give me a sign of what's to come. I'm telling Him that whatever He has in mind, I can't possibly be the girl. I don't have the strength. My faith doesn't have the maturity. My life isn't in order.

But, "Let what is mine be mine."

I thought, "God, everything is Yours."

And there's the answer. Everything is His. I'm worried because I'm not ready spiritually or financially or intellectually for what I'd really like to be doing. But everything is His. There's no scrap of wisdom, and no dollar that doesn't belong to the king.

So. Again. I'll keep walking.