sinfully sad.

Do you think sadness can be sin?

Here's why I ask... I have this friend. And it just seems like her heart is so broken by distrust, and anger, and hurt that sometimes, it hurts me just to be with her. I start to think how much worse it must be to be her, and the sadness is too great. Thinking about it makes me sad for her. So sad that it's a struggle to remember God. I coach myself through our conversations, mentally thanking Him for hope, and love, and reminding myself that He is so much bigger than all of it. Yet still, the negativity of her spirit is overwhelming. She's not trying to be negative. It just rolls off of her in big waves, threatening to drown us both.

When we part, the residuals are still with me. I have to fight my way back to reality--that God loves me, that He loves her, that this world has a power for Good. Maybe this sounds intense. Am I alone in this? Am I crazy? Has anyone been in a similar situation?

Tonight, I'm not going to drown in it. If sadness can be sin, I'd rather choose obedience. Whether I feel it or not, I'm going to make the choice to live in love, to live in hope. Because that's truth, and because, in a way, she really needs me to.