a little lost.

Well, it has been two and a half years since I last wrote here, or even visited these thoughts. And holy shit was I religious. R-E-L-I-G-I-O-U-S. Fucking yikes. As JVN might say, I don't even know her. 

Then again, I'm not confident that I know me anymore either. Who's who? Who knows. 

But...once many years ago, these pages, this writing, lead me to some really beautiful things. Yeah, some things that aren't that familiar to me anymore, some things I no longer endorse, but there was beauty all the same. I'm hoping it can happen again. 

There's a song with which I've been completely in love recently -- the lyrics say, "I moved to California in the summertime. I changed my name thinking that it would change my mind. I thought that all my problems they would stay behind. I was a stick of dynamite, and it just was a matter of time... Oh dang, oh my, now I can't hide; said I knew myself, but I guess I lied. It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, if you're lost, we're all a little lost, and it's alright...it's alright to be lost sometimes."

I'm a little lost. I'm too old to be lost. Too entrenched in a steady career with a great company. Too married. Too settled. But lost all the same. 

But maybe it's okay, maybe it's alright to be lost sometimes.