In that time, I have moved from Chicago to Pittsburgh, gotten engaged and then married, and then celebrated one year of marriage, made an entirely new set of friends, settled in at an entirely new job, come to know my new family, attempted to get to know my new church, and celebrated three years as a cancer survivor.
That's kind of a lot.
But I'm not happy. Truth be told. I'm...wow, what am I? I'm... I'm weary. I feel stifled, and as though everything in my life is obligatory. I miss joy. Pure, unbridled, awesome joy. Like at Wednesday night prayer service, standing there in the dark, arms high, singing out worship and praise to this mysterious God I had just come to understand. That was joy.
They say (who is they? who knows) that when you lose your way with the Lord, you should go back to the last thing He told you. I don't quite recall what that was, so instead, I'm going back to the last time I remember doing really well with Him. What kinds of things did I do then? How did I do them?
Well, for starters, obviously, I wrote about Him. Kind of a lot. In complete honesty. With abandon. I wrote about my worship, about my service, about my questions and doubts and joys. I put on a bunch of worship music, rocked out, and wrote it down.
So I'm coming back. Because I believe in a faithful God-- a God who is there when I turn back to Him, and who, just as surely as he brought in the first whirlwind of crazy faith and unbelievable mountain tops, will bring in another.
Are you ready?
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