two thousand and late.

I don't know what's about to happen in my life.  But I sense that in about a month, one of these posts will start with the phrase, "I don't know what's happening in my life."

When I first moved to Missouri and considered the idea that maybe I had been wrong about Christ, that maybe He was more, I remember this crazy feeling that my life was being turned upside down, completely inside out, often.  Like, every week or two, often.  The me I had been in September?  Gone.  October?  Long gone.  November?  Two-thousand and late.

It was a tremendous time of growth.

As this will be.  I think.  I feel it in my heart, in my spirit, I guess.

I'm amazed at how He can take the pieces of our lives, the mistakes and the misfortunes, and weave them into something that makes sense, into something that isn't just "gotten over" or "lived through," but that glorifies Him!  Something transcendent.

I almost died of cancer, and I still might.  I lost so much.  I lost my job, my financial security, my church, my community, my academic momentum.  But somehow He is reaching into that, and setting things right.  More than setting things "right," whatever that actually means, He is building my life back, bigger and better, and I have a feeling, holier, and more courageous, and more faithful, with a greater sense of purpose, and sharper focus on His call.    

Do you get that?  Do you understand that in a world in which all things are His, He can demolish, and build, and remodel as He wills?  But that He works together all things for the good of those who love Him, and that if He did it for me, He can and will do it for you, and it might not look how you'd like it, and you might nearly die in the process, but He is good, and He does good.  And sometimes, "when you don't understand, you trust God, and you give Him praise."

So, I don't know what's about to happen in my life.  But as in those early months, in September, and October, and the rest-- I'm in.