thank you.

My Dad missed the Lutheran confirmation class he teaches to be with me last week. When he returned, his 8th graders all asked him why he missed. What could be so important? He explained what was happening. And that night, as the kids prepared to write in entries for their "prayer tin," they gathered as a group a few feet from my Dad. Two of them stepped to the tin. When the prayers were read, my cancer was one of them.

I tell the story simply because it doesn't need to be told any other way. You just need to know what I know.

Love is humbling. So humbling.

I've learned a lot of things already in this process. I've learned that the physical intensity of the cancer fight will expose every weakness of faith. I've learned that letting people minister to you is an important ministry to people. That chicken noodle soup is heinously disgusting when vomited, and that throwing up cherry popsicle will give you the momentary terror of wondering why there's blood in the toilet.

The most enduring, though, the most overwhelming thing I've learned, is the humility of receiving love. When people you barely know are offering incredible encouragement, when a group of 8th graders are using their entries into the prayer tin to show solidarity with the sickness of their leader...

It's just so humbling.

I can't be eloquent about this. My tears are my eloquence. My heart is my eloquence. Words aren't good enough for the truth of it.

Those kids don't know, probably couldn't understand right now, how close they are to the heart of Christ. They inspire me. I'm so proud of them, and so in awe of them simultaneously. I find myself just lapsing into prayer for them--offering them the only thing I really can. Oh Father, raise up these boys as your leaders, bless them wildly, and without reason. Put favor and grace on their lives such that they are never far from the wisdom they know now--that selfless prayer and thought is the power of grace in their lives that will bring them through to the full glory of Your Kingdom.

In the meantime, I'm accepting the love, and the grace of not only these 8th grade boys, but all of the people who have been so steadfast in their encouragement. You all humble my heart. You make me a better follower of Christ, by reminding me of the love and humility that is the heart of Christ.

My words fail me.

Thank you. Thank you.